She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
