If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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