I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
