Jerry, you need to find god
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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