His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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