going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You were trust falling into bushes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
