I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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