He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
