I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize