i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
