Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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