We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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