you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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