Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
