Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
