I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
