can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
