I feel like abortions should bother me more
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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