Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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