Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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