3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's official drugs can't kill me
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
