i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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