Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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