That's when you crack a 10am beer
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
