I am spending my child support on dildos
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
