You just made me feel so damn special
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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