i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
