Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
