i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize