the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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