I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
