Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
