people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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