How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
