he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
