My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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