I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
