what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
