she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All the doctor said was why
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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