I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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