i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
