forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
