so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
