i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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