my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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