Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
