I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
