Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize