is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
