It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am naked and annoyed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
