I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize