I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
