the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
