I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize