He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
