people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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