You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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