Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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