so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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