The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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