dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
