Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
