This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
