This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
