Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
