When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
why is half of my head shaved?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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