All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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