she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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