also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I will be naked everywhere
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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