My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
