You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
