can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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