roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize