I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You were trust falling into bushes
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
