Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
