Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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