I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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