i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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