You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
