dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My brain says no but my pants say off.
even my farts smell like vagina
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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