but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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