i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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