My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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