Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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