I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
